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Vampire Life Part 4 – When a New Vampire’s Attempted Turning Takes Out the Turnee

Duvy — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:00:34 +0000

Vampire Life Part 4 – When a New Vampire’s Attempted Turning Takes Out the Turnee By Larry Schliessmann Well, wasn’t that one serious night on the town? You dressed to seduce, succeeded grandly, but oops, slightly intoxicated by success you went and forgot to pull out in time to avoid the inevitable. That’s right; the Turnee didn’t make it, dropped at your feet looking very pale and flaccid. There is nothing you can do to rectify the mistake, so you must deal with it. Of course, you are an apprentice vampire so your initial reaction may be like a Normal’s reaction to blame the victim. It’s not my fault, I didn’t mean for it to go this far. It was an accident. I tried to pull out really, I did. You may honestly think the fault lies with the Turnee. Perhaps he or she consumed too much alcohol while you partied. Then, after you led him or her to a secluded undisclosed location, got him or her to believe that the big moment had arrived after a serious bout of hot foreplay, wham bam and OMG that feels better than it should have felt. Hmm. Seriously, you really desired him or her, wanted a successful Turning, but the end result was a disappointment. Well, some things never change, right ladies? Regardless of who or what you may want to blame, you took more than he, or she had to give. In your old life, you might’ve said you were sorry, or spewed forth a string of vilely vindictive phrases and walked away. However, you’re dead now, and so is the Turnee. Only the Turnee isn’t about to be Turned, stand up, look at you and demand to know why he or she feels so weak and lifeless. You, the Turner must deal with the consequences, and complete the task long before the sun rises. However, what do you do next? You could just leave his or her corpse where it dropped, but there is the little problem of the telltale bite marks. Even the dumbest cop walking the planet will question the double incisor holes. In addition, if you applied proper vampire etiquette, they were neatly placed along the base of the carotid artery just above the collarbone preferably on the Turnee’s left side where blood pressure is slightly higher. You might quickly dig a hole and deposit his or her corpse there, but if you’ve never dug a grave, well, you’ll need several hours without interruption. If you partied until two or three in the morning, you’ll run out of time before the sun fries you. Calling the vampire that Turned you is an option, but no self-respecting vampire carries a cellphone. If he or she forgot to shut it off and went into his or her recuperative trance for the day, imagine the phone ringing while unsuspecting normals walk nearby, or worse, a hunter bearing unwanted gifts. Normals will search for the phone, certain that even if it wasn’t their own, nobody who called or texted a friend should be ignored. I mean come on, what are you thinking? Might be an important tweet. If you were advanced, say, after a century of life experience, you might call your vampire in a way that is ancient as time itself. Of course, if you were that old, you would not’ve made all the errors you made that put you in such a precarious position. Ingenuity must rule the night. You may not have discovered this yet. You are incredibly strong. Especially, immediately after a Taking. Even from an intoxicated Takee. Of course, you may feel a bit wobbly. My suggestion: lift him or her onto your shoulder and take him or her home if you’re not already there. You won’t need to explain why you’re bringing a friend home. No one will notice the body if you hide it well. He or she is not about to smell, since you’ve drained him or her of fluids. Then, when you wake at midnight, tote the corpse into an area where no one will find him or her, and bury it deep. I understand we’re in an overcrowded world, and the odds are good someone will discover the corpse eventually, but by then they’ll not get enough forensic evidence to convict someone who is still living. Perhaps this solution is something of a let down, but the easiest answer is always the best one. In the future, learn to pace yourself. Pull out several times to help maintain control. A Turning should be respectful. It is an honored tradition dating back thousands of years. Next: Breaking the news after a successful Turning. Larry Schliessmann http://schliessmann.blogspot.com/ http://www.redroom.com/member/schliessmann

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Newly Minted Vampire? Congratulations! Vampire Life Part 2

Duvy — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 00:50:57 +0000

Newly Minted Vampire? Congratulations! Vampire Life Part 2 By Larry Schliessmann The joy of your first Taking, and hints for living your new life (sic). As with anything worth doing in life, the same holds true for those among us who have recently become the walking dead. I regret how dreadful that must sound, but now that you are a newly minted vampire, you must make the effort to truly appreciate and receive the blessings of eternal life–albeit a nighttime existence. Since you have spent several of your first days or longer in your hideaway, i.e. casket, recuperating from the bloodletting and the Taking-In-Return with your vampire, you may have had time to mull over your new existence. You should not think of this major transition tritely. Here are important tips for the apprentice vampire. Men and women penned volumes regarding a vampire’s ability to mesmerize his or her victim. You may have experienced this before your Turning and believed what you felt to be love. It was not, your vampire was hungry. However, now you are a Taker. Nevertheless, mesmerizing a victim is as much about learned technique as it is about innate expertise, so take your time. Furthermore, who among the living knows how best to pierce the neck with a delicate yet forceful enough bite to draw blood, but not rend the flesh and muscles? Two small neat holes spaced about one and one-half to two inches apart at a slight diagonal along the base of the neck are the mark of a skillful and experienced vampire. Attention to details is crucially important if your first Taking is to succeed. I cannot stress enough that preparation discipline and patience are equally significant to achieve a positive result. Remember, should you fail to feed you can go underground where you will learn to absorb nutrients from the soil. There is no telling what might be in the soil. However, it should sustain you for several days if needed, or keep you, well, “vampire alive” until your teacher arrives for your second lesson. When searching for prey, remember the old saying “the bigger they are the harder they fall.” In your new life, you might just consider it super-sizing, and enjoy the extraordinary feast. If your prey’s volume exceeds what you might absorb during the Taking, consider sharing with your vampire. Families that Take together stay together. Should you accidentally walk into a patch of sunlight the way you did when you enjoyed the feeling of heat on your body, the pain will be instantaneous and excruciating. The exposed flesh will boil and stink something awful. Should the experience immobilize you with panic and your vampire is not nearby to assist, you will sizzle into an oily puddle of unidentifiable matter and finally flare into grey-white ash. Your vampire will sweep you away and move on. Remember, your vampire is dead too, and he or she is driven only by the need to survive. Exposure to silver may be more subtle. Say you wore a silver chain at the time of Turning, once completed and you are a true vampire, albeit weak and helpless, the chain will slowly erode into you, and if left unchecked will decapitate you before you might safely remove the silver. Remember, your vampire will be reluctant to handle silver so again it is all about preparation. A mature vampire never needs rescuing. The oldest threat on record for a vampire is a wooden stake through the heart. The Staking occurs while a vampire remains unconscious after a night of mischief. Again, preparation is necessary to avoid this tragedy. Always double back, to check the path behind you when you return before dawn, or after a successful hunt. One of the consequences of super-sizing is over satiation and the sluggishness it causes. So always, be certain no one followed you to your windowless basement, cave, or abandoned house. Finally, there is talk that a crucifix pressed to the forehead will kill a vampire. As with a lea of garlic, this is more rumor than fact. It is best to allow laymen their beliefs, which in the end makes the Taking less troubling. In this case, myth brings them to you, or notifies you where they live. There is nothing quite like the odor of garlic to bring out the best in us all, and turn away those uninvited guests too. With centuries of time on your hands, now is the perfect occasion to establish new habits that will carry you through forever. Until you feel sure of your abilities to walk among the living after dark only, I suggest you follow the teaching of your vampire. Remember, for you the moon is not a harsh mistress! Good luck, welcome, and happy living (sic)! Next: A proper wardrobe and that all-important first date with the guy or gal you plan to Turn just because you can. Larry Schliessmann http://schliessmann.blogspot.com/ http://www.redroom.com/member/schliessmann

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Review: Dragonball Evolution could easily have dropped the ball, but didn't

Duvy — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:45:00 +0000

There will be no hating on Dragonball Evolution in this review. The film has a lot stacked against it: It’s based on an anime series long past its height of popularity, and it always was second to the likes of Pokemon. It’s aimed at kids, so you never know how childish it might be. It’s got a lot of CGI and wirework, which is so passé. Yet Dragonball Evolution overcomes all of that to become a magical thrill ride, appropriate for kids but not condescending toward them. Goku (Justin Chatwin) has been training in martial arts up to his 18th birthday, as evidenced by a laundry-line balancing act reminiscent of classic Hong Kong movies like Iron Monkey. His duty is to protect Dragon Ball number IV, but his grandfather forbids him to fight in school, so he still gets harassed by bullies. He is able to dodge them and make them hurt themselves, in another scene reminiscent of Hong Kong cinema, where the noble hero will not strike against A-holes who deserve it. >

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