I’m Ready For My Close Up Darling – Why There Are No Ugly Vampires By Sammael Asael There is an existing variety in the vampire world. In the movies where the vampires are the ‘enemy’ more often than not they are dark, ugly, mindless. The best example of this can be found in the ‘Buffy and Angel’ shows, where the vampires generally don’t look their best except for the ‘good ones’ like Angel and Spike, until they get pissed off. The stark contrast to that is the beautiful vampire, the one we desire and lust after quite readily. These vampires are the ones belonging to Anne Rice; Lestat, Louis, Marius… she’s written them to be sensual and seductive, then there is the Twilight Sage, with young almost humanlike vampires all desperately beautiful. Why is it that vampires seem forbidden to be ugly? In the vampire community, it is commonly believed that there should be no ugly vampires in the world. It was phrased by the character Louis de Pointe du Lac as follows; “Do you find us beautiful, magical? Our white skin, our fierce eyes? “Drink” you ask me, do you have any idea of the thing you will become?” The answer is; yes, they do… and here comes the small list of reasons that explain why vampires can’t be ugly. First of, as said by a fan of the Twilight saga on a Facebook fangroup named “Because of Edward Cullen, human boys have lost their charm”; “I think every girl deserves an Edward”. Vampires are always beautiful in the media. Why? Sex sells. It’s a well known fact and no less true for vampires. There’s a whole range of ‘types’ too, but all have beauty in common even if there are those that would argue this. What attracts a woman to vampires is the promise of forever; to be loved forever is every girl’s dream and a vampire very well could. In addition, their beautiful looks add to the myth; the Twilight ‘hero’ is compared constantly to Adonis in the novel, for his appearance. In the Vampire Chronicles, Lestat sires Louis because he finds the man so beautiful he falls in love with him upon first glance. The secret to this extreme beauty is held within the fan target reader the authors hope to reach; anyone would prefer dreaming away about the most beautiful vampire out there, who’ll love her forever and turn them immortal so that they too can be young and beautiful forever. Let’s face it; the man with the beer gut, or the woman with the saggy breasts… they don’t speak or appeal to the mind. Everyone’s drawn to the things that are bad, and vampires bring the term ‘bad’ to a whole new level. They’re seductive and mysterious, unreachable creatures that one just hopes they can entice with their human soul, lure them in and make them fall in love. This image of the perfect, seductive and lethal vampire is not complete with a person that can’t bother with personal hygiene or looking good. And there lies the answer to why the media, whether you opt for books or movies, has no ugly vampires; they must speak to the imagination and leave one dreaming of them upon finish. Are there none out there then? In the vampire community that exists, there’s several who aren’t necessarily the most beautiful creature ever to roam the earth, that are average and normal, but even they are inspired and transfixed upon those greatest of vampires that we love throughout the history of vampire lore. Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Buffy’s Angel, Anne Rice’s vampires, Edward Cullen… all of them hold an infinite beauty that appeals. The perfect creatures, the ultimate temptations. Sammael “Sam” Asael is a writer and an aspiring author of the paranormal genre. Sam is also an avid fan of various mythologies, particularly vampires and werewolves, and actively participates in the discussion and creative writing of such mythologies. Learn more about Sam’s work and join The Darkest Region today.

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