Vampire Life Part 5 – Breaking the News After a Successful Turning – The First Kiss! By Larry Schliessmann You were smooth, worked your target with the skill you acquired by watching your Vampire master, and from your recent failed attempts. Despite those failures, you persisted, and now you have succeeded in Turning the woman of your dreams. Eternity beckons you like a lover greeting a returning warrior. After this night, you know you will never walk alone again. Sure, you’ve had your vampire master lurking in the background to keep you company, but face it, he was beginning to creep you out. Your vampire master is centuries older than you and you found it difficult to relate. Now all that changes too. You sit with her head on your lap, watching those once-stunning eyes as the loss of blood drains their color. This doesn’t affect your feelings does it? She is your first successful Turning. Her flesh has already bleached, the elasticity tighter, the fingernails glow like mother of pearl. Carefully, you raise your wrist to her mouth, watch as she lowers her blunt human-like teeth and feebly nips at your flesh. Warm with her blood pulsing through you, you press your wrist tight against her mouth, and force her jaw shut so it tears into you. The blood you just ingested slides like puree into her mouth. A single drop is enough to ignite the vampire life force of energy and now your Turnée drinks with enthusiasm until you force her to stop. Don’t let it go too far. This is an excellent time to begin training her on art of pulling away in time. Now the Turning is complete. Congratulations! You must feel revitalized, rejuvenated, and ready to conquer your world. But wait; there is one small detail you must tend to first. Not everyone looked forward to becoming a vampire the way you had. Your gift might not seem as appealing to your Turnée. “What the hell did you do to me?” your Turnée demands to know, red vampire fire glaring her eyes. “Made you like me,” you reply confidently after swallowing the arousal caused by the sight of her rage. “You did what? What the hell are you?” “You knew what I was before we dated.” “You mean you really are a vampire? That’s stupid. I thought you were joking.” Oh, darn, now what, huh? “Look in the mirror behind us.” You turn your head and point boldly. “Oh my God, I’m not there.” Your Turnée screams, hands gingerly touching the rigid flesh around her mouth and eyes. She jumps you and if she were not mostly drained of blood, the surprise attack might’ve caused you severe problems. No, you cannot have a heart attack. Remember, you’re dead! Now, you could advise her that God was no longer in the equation, but perhaps it is best to wait a day or two. Too many new concepts at once may be confusing. You should suggest she get some rest, sleep off the day and you’ll return later. By the time you have, she will be famished and the idea of hunting for survival will outweigh all other concerns. Wait a minute, there is something you’re not telling me isn’t there. Oh, no, don’t say it dude, don’t tell me that. You did didn’t you. You Turned your mother?!? What were you thinking? Never, ever, Turn a family member. I do not care how much you miss mom and her home style microwaving, the stocked refrigerator, the slap on the back of the head. Now, you’re going to live forever with mom at your side! What were you thinking? Okay, let’s review what happened. You found the girl of your dreams and you Turned her. Mom does not fall into that category. Just because you got along before… oh? What? You didn’t and this is revenge? Oh, dude, that is so wrong in so many ways. What kind of revenge is having a raging parent haunting you through eternity? How can this be fixed? Next: Dealing with Vampire Hunters. How to use them and how to avoid them. Dude, you are so disgusting. I am totally creeped out! And wipe the blood off your chin. Larry Schliessmann http://schliessmann.blogspot.com/ http://www.redroom.com/member/schliessmann

Vampire Life Part 4 - When a New Vampire's Attempted Turning Takes Out the Turnee

Vampire Life Part 4 – When a New Vampire’s Attempted Turning Takes Out the Turnee By Larry Schliessmann Well, wasn’t that one serious night on the town? You dressed to seduce, succeeded grandly, but oops, slightly intoxicated by success you went and forgot to pull out in time to avoid the inevitable. That’s right; the [...more info]

Vampire Life Part 3 - A New Vampire's Proper Wardrobe and That All-important First Date

Vampire Life Part 3 – A New Vampire’s Proper Wardrobe and That All-important First Date By Larry Schliessmann Several weeks to three months beyond the day of your Turning, life will seem vastly different as will your appearance. By now, your once supple tanned flesh glows pale under moonlight, may appear slightly translucent and feel [...more info]

Newly Minted Vampire? Congratulations! Vampire Life Part 2

Newly Minted Vampire? Congratulations! Vampire Life Part 2 By Larry Schliessmann The joy of your first Taking, and hints for living your new life (sic). As with anything worth doing in life, the same holds true for those among us who have recently become the walking dead. I regret how dreadful that must sound, but [...more info]

So, You Fell in Love With a Vampire

So, You Fell in Love With a Vampire By Larry Schliessmann So, you fell in love with a vampire. Congratulations! Now, here are a few tips and some advice on how to survive the first intimate encounter. You might be wondering, “How did I get here?” Truthfully, I’m wondering that too, but put that aside [...more info]

Movies: STONERS NOW SCARED OF TWO BONGS FROM CHARLES BAND AND FULL MOON

STONERS NOW SCARED OF TWO BONGS FROM CHARLES BAND AND FULL MOON (Hollywood, CA, June 9, 2009) The world premier of King Bong: Evil Bong 2 took place earlier this year on April 20th at the Ultra Suede Nightclub in West Hollywood, CA. Along with veteran horror film makers, rising YouTube ceWebrities The Killer Dolls [...more info]

Review: Twilight - A Man's Perspective

Twilight – A Man’s Perspective By Christopher McCollum To quote a good friend of mine, ‘Twilight swept through the ranks of my female friends like the bubonic plague.’ I first heard of this series of books two years ago, when my former English professor told me about this teenage vampire book that was sweeping across [...more info]

SoonerCon, not just for comic books and sci-fi dead beats

SoonerCon, not just for comic books and sci-fi dead beats One thing I run into a lot, and not just in Oklahoma, is people who think conventions are just for comic books nerds and sci-fi freaks. You will see a lot of that at conventions, it’s true, but by closing your mind to the adventure, [...more info]

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